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Monday, May 5, 2008

Improving human relations

One of my yearly objectives this year is to get better at forming emotional connections with people. So, I read a book which Warren Buffett read to become one of the most admired business leaders. It is a book published in 1931 called How to win friends & influence people by Dale Carnegie.

Although I have been practicing most of the principles, I have slipped few times:-) It is amazing that the book was published 77 years ago and the principles are still effective. I have listed the principles below. Please keep in mind that some of the principles may not work outside the US.

Fundamental techniques in handling people:

1. Don't criticize, condemn or complain

2. Give honest and sincere appreciation

3. Arouse in the other person an eager want

Six ways to make people like you:

1. Become genuinely interested in other people

2. Smile

3. Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language

4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves

5. Talk in terms of other person's interests

6. Make the other person feel important-and do it sincerely

Win people to your way of thinking:

1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it

2. Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "you are wrong"

3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically

4. Begin in a friendly way

5. Get the other person saying "yes yes" immediately

6. Let the other person do a great deal of talking

7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers

8. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view

9. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires

10. Appeal to the nobler motives

11. Dramatize your ideas

12. Throw down a challenge

Be a Leader:

1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation

2. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly

3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person

4. Ask questions instead of giving direct answers

5. Let the other person save face

6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your appreciation and lavish in your praise"

7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to

8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct

9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest

If everyone follows these principles, we would become a better society.

Your thoughts?