Lessons For Toddlers

Are the parents teaching the children, or are the children teaching the parents? My son teaches me many things effortlessly, while I strive to teach him a few things—with a lot of effort. It may take decades to see if I succeed. :)

I asked my parents if they had a strategic plan to teach me values. Their response was that they demonstrated values through their actions, believing that children learn by observation. They didn’t worry too much about it. :)

Perhaps I worry too much about making my son a good human being. While it’s not entirely in the parents’ hands, I still want to try. Observing my son, I’ve been focusing on teaching him the following:

Joys of childhood

1. Actions have consequences. 

Children often have no concept of this idea. They live in the moment, which may be why they’re so happy.

For example, throwing a toy on the floor might break it, or not stopping at a red light could lead to an accident. These lessons might eventually be learned through experience, but I’d rather not take that risk.

The most effective way to teach this concept is by eliminating the “might.” If you do x, then y happens. For instance, if you don’t finish dinner, you don’t get dessert. Repeating “actions have consequences” consistently reinforces the message.

This might make him thoughtful. 

2. Sometimes you win. Sometimes you lose. 

Kids love to win and don’t like losing. When I play with my son, I let him win sometimes and lose other times to teach him that losing is okay. When you lose, instead of crying, you try again.

This might him a good competitor.

3. Check before deciding. 

I want my son to try new things. You can’t just say “no” without checking. This could apply to trying new foods, games, or parks.

Since kids love routine, I create opportunities for new experiences and variations from the usual.

This might make him curious. 

4. Do what you say. 

Many adults need this lesson too! This value is best taught by example, but it requires the strength to not give in, even if your child is crying.

For instance, if he agrees to put his toys away in the evening, he must follow through.

This might make him a man of integrity.

5. Everything is ours. 

In America, property rights are deeply ingrained in the culture, and children frequently say “mine.” Is the concept of possession innate?

In our home, everything is “ours.” This concept of joint ownership encourages sharing and reduces attachment to material things. Schools are already doing a great job teaching property rights. :)

This might make him a good collaborator. 

6. Use words. 

Children often cry to express frustration, sadness, or anger, but I don’t always understand why. When my son cries, I remind him to use words to share his feelings so I can help.

This might help him a good communicator. 

7. When you want something and can't get it, take ten deep breaths. 

For young children, the concept of wanting something and not getting it is unfamiliar. Early in life, their needs—like milk and comfort—are always met.

I teach him to take ten deep breaths when he feels frustrated. This practice helps him calm down and sometimes realize he doesn’t really need what he wanted. Though it’s difficult to implement in the moment, it works when he tries it.

This might make him patient. 

8. There is a time for everything. 

How do you teach the concept of time? Dinner happens at a certain time, school at another, and so on.

I bought a pendulum clock and added stickers to mark his favorite activities. For instance, there’s a sticker at 5 PM for TV time. When he wants to watch TV, we check together if it’s the right time. 

This might make him disciplined. 

9. Say hello to everyone. 

Instead of fearing strangers, I want my son to be friendly. It’s sad that we often see the same neighbors regularly but don’t acknowledge them. He’s helping change that.

This might help him make new friends everywhere. 

10. When you fall, you get up and try again. 

When children fall, their natural response is to cry. I encourage my son to brush himself off and keep going instead. This habit seems to be taking root.

This might help him develop perseverance. 

11. Think before you act. 

One of my favorite phrases from my son is, “I’m thinking.” Children often act impulsively—for example, throwing a toy in anger without considering the consequences.

I ask probing questions instead of giving direct answers, encouraging him to weigh options and consider outcomes.

This might make him a strategic thinker. 

12. It is parents responsibility to teach right and wrong. 

Philosophical discussions about right and wrong are fascinating, as morality is often contextual. However, kids need absolute clarity. For example, it’s wrong to shout or to take toys from other children.

I remind my son that it’s his mother’s and my responsibility to teach him right from wrong, and sometimes he has to do things simply because they’re the right thing to do.

This might make him a moral person. 

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The real challenge is for me to have the patience and perseverance to do what’s best for my son in the long term, rather than taking the easier path in the short term. Thanks to his mother for keeping me honest and being stronger than I am in teaching these lessons to our son.